Life is a great teacher…
… and makes sure you really learned your lesson.
My girl Rayn wrote to me today. She canceled her Second Life account.
I knew it was coming, now it happened.
Be well my girl, you’ll be missed.
Knowledge and experience
A close friend told me recently that I’m never grey, but black and white at the same time. Yin and Yang, Dominant and submissive, loving and cruel…
Whether this is specific to me or not, right or wrong will not be discussed here, not today at least, but it could be the reason why I woke up to the actuality of a probably obvious statement both in a heartwarming and a heartbreaking way in twenty-four hours: knowing something, and experiencing it are tow radically different things.
Knowing that a woman I dominate is in awe of me, and hearing it from her lips, seeing it written by her, for everyone to see…
Knowing that I’ll never be more than an occasional distraction to the woman I worship, and being there when she tells it to her girl.
Some time ago, I was talking about D/s with a friend, and we agreed on a metaphor: we choose to set our homes beside the precipice. Every step we take is thrilling, we experience mind blowing highs, but when we fall, we fall hard.
And I’m torn between immense joy, and overwhelming sorrow.
And I realize what specificity brings consistence in my life: I ache to please. I do everything I can to reach this goal, and it seems I became pretty good at this.
Understand me, I’m not saying that I dedicate my life to others in a selfless way. I only do what pleases me, and that is pleasing others. If you look at it closely, it’s rather selfish, or at least, I receive as much as I give.
But back to the reason for this post, and for this blog: I’m one step away from heaven, and the whimsical child I am is having a hard time accepting the fact that it’s as close as it gets. Let’s hope the next step will not take me further away from bliss.
The woman I submit to asked me if she’d hurt my feelings, and I told her in all honesty that she had not.
Truth hurts, not the one who speaks it.
Facts
Before I start this blog, here are a few things I know:
I’m incredibly lucky
I have the most loving, wonderful family one can dream of
I have amazing friends
When you hear me whine, bear in mind that I am grateful for all the great things life brought to me. I guess I’ll stop complaining when I won’t find the slightest thing to mutter at.
When pigs fly.
Yes, I’m a spoiled child. So what?
